Tuesday, April 27, 2010

the power of forgiveness

okay, i know i'm behind on posting this week's plan, but before i do that i really want to give you a quick update on the forgiveness front. you may remember my uncle who i basically haven't spoken to in like 10 years and who during the week of stronger relationships i resolved to find a way to forgive. well, last night he did come to my grandmother's birthday party.

i have to admit, i was pretty stressed out about it. i mean you don't just go from "i never want to see you again" back to buddies in the blink of a 100 year party candle. but i know that carrying around these ill feelings hurts me more than him (and causes stress for the rest of my family), so i was willing to give it a try. maybe i wouldn't forgive him, but at least i could be civil and give him the benefit of the doubt. and you know what? it really helped. i was able to realize that while he may have his issues, he is not intentionally malicious. the things that happened between us were not him trying to hurt me, it was him not having the slightest ability to understand how what he did would make me feel. and realizing that, i was able to completely enjoy myself at the party without  having to avoid him or brace myself against him. it was a huge relief.

and who knows, maybe someday i will forgive him, but for now i'm happy just to not have to worry about it anymore.

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