looking back to look forward

i have read more than one book that pegs the ages of 9-11 as those years when you are most fully yourself -- old enough to have formed your personality but young enough that you haven't been beaten down by  and cultural and familial expectations. many of these books say that when looking to create a more fulfilling future, the best place to search for ideas is in your past. start with some of these questions:

- what was your favorite subject in school? (english and history, though i pretty much loved all school)
- what were your interests / what did you do in your free time? (gymnastics, climbing trees, catching pollywogs, read books, sewing, drawing -- especially designs of houses, creating terrariums, decorating my dollhouse, making furniture for my dollhouse out of tin cans and sponges, indoor gardening)
- what were your favorite games? (made-up imagination games like trapped on a dessert island)
- what did you collect? (books, especially fantasy, plants, tropical fish, teddy bears, especially smokey)
- what were your favorite tv shows, movies or books? (chronicles of prydain, the hobbit, chronicles of narnia,  little house, and of course my favorite book, the little prince)
- what did you want to be when you grew up? (teacher, writer, artist, mom)
- why?

for me, remembering wasn't that hard. i have a record of many other of these things and remember a lot. each of us kids had one of those school record books where we kept our report cards, class photos and filled in our best friends, favorite teachers and yes, what we wanted to be when we grew up. and i still see and speak to my family and friends from back then which makes it easy to supplement my memories.

but looking at my answers, i  feel like what they say is true. the things i long to bring back into my life are those things that i loved most then: nature, creativity, imagination, words, books, and learning. and i can't help but think that bringing some of those things back into my life might help me feel more grounded and in touch with my true self.

the joys of wool

it's 48 degrees here this morning (maybe 50 at my desk with the heater one). yes, i get that that's significantly warmer than many (perhaps most) other parts of the country this january, but it still feels cold to me. especially to my toes which are more than a little overly-sensitive to the chill.

fortunately, thanks to a great sale at any mountain last week, i now have 6 new pairs of wigwam wool socks to help keep them warm. today i'm wearing the brown ice socks, which are not only surprisingly soft and not at all itchy, they are super-paddy which is perfect on those days when your feet just hurt for no reason.

i've always avoided wool because of the itch factor and was definitely taking a chance buying 6 pairs at once of a brand i've never tried, but they were worth every penny and then some -- even if i had paid full price.

quick tip

not ready to make the leap to full wool? start with smartwool. their socks use a wool blend that is really nice and they come in a variety of weights suitable for everything from business attire to camping gear. even better, the color and pattern selection is awesome. perfect for anyone who wants to make a surreptitious fashion statement and still stay warm.

questions: my current look

1. what adjectives best describe your current look?
2. what do you like about your current look?
3. what do you dislike about it?

truth is, i really don’t feel like i have a current look. outfits are cobbled together from random items based primarily on what i happen to be able to squeeze into at the time. usually this results in me looking like a twelve-year old skater boy. probably not the best way to instill confidence in and command respect from my employees and coworkers and certainly not from upper management. outside of work, I almost always feel frumpy, drab and distinctly un-fabulous. which gives me a nice, clean segue into what I dislike about my current look:

• doesn’t reflect my interests, passions or personality (sometimes not even my own tastes)
• no continuity from day to do, no cohesive visual message that let’s people know who i am
• not always (or even usually) flattering
• not always (or even usually) well-matched
• no pizzazz (except occasionally when it probably has too much pizazz)
• takes forever to get ready because i can’t figure out what to wear (took three separate outfits for me to get out the door this morning)

but what do i like about my current look? the simple answer is not much. but there are certain outfits, certain individual pieces and certain components that i do like:

things i like...

• big scarves: e wear one almost every day, partly because e’m always cold and partly because san francisco weather is fickle and demands both preparedness and flexibility (it’s a hat, it’s a brooch, it’s a pterodactyl—I mean it’s a scarf, it’s a hat, it’s a warm blanket…)
• chunky-heeled shoes: there’s nothing better than added height without the added danger brought on by a clumsy girl trying to wear skinny heels
• boots: ideally knee-height, they’re perfect with skirts, cropped pants and even rolled-up jeans, plus they’re warm
• ethnic prints: tropical, asian, batik… i’m even a sucker for scottish tartan (especially when the tartan in question is weathered mclean dress)
• wide-legged pants: even better, flares… even better, striped flares… okay, no, wait… that may be part of what got me in this mess
• fitted (but not too-fitted) tops: showing off curves is good, looking like a sausage, not so much
• chunky, single pendant necklaces: especially big, “alive” stones (moonstone, labradorite, opal) framed in silver

my favorites...

• outfit: long elephant bell jeans worn with a black and burgundy mandarin-style brocade top, platform ankle boots and a big black scarf (incidentally, those jeans are also my favorite pants)
• skirt: orange, green and black batik wrap skirt embellished with stylized images of taro leaves
• tee: mission playground’s “a little for all”
• scarf: a black and white batik pareo my mom bought for me in Hawaii
• necklace: the labradorite pendant i bought in cambria, ca
  
• shoes: vegas boots, baby! a pair of knee-high, stacked heel, black leather, italian lovelies that i paid an ungodly amount of money for in a boutique at the venetian in 1998 and which still look completely fabulous despite constant wear, proving once again that, at least when it comes to shoes, you get what you pay for

which leads us to another important question: how do I use these individual pieces as the basis for an actual style? but that is a question for another day.