new directions

It's been a while since I've posted here. Some of it was frustration at having so many things I wanted to do fall through. Some of it was business at work and at home. Some of it was pure laziness. And some of it was time spent working on a new plan. The good news is, with the possible exception of laziness, all of the other excuses have been resolved. Sometimes you need the rug pulled out from under you in order to get a new perspective. Thanks to that and some very synchronistic events, I am finally in the process of completely remaking my life, at least for the short term. Here's the plan:

- Take 6 months off work (leave of absence approved)
- Put possessions in storage, purge what I can
- Move to Santa Fe (I've got a great 6-month house/pet-sitting gig lined up)
- Attend Natalie Goldberg's year-long writing intensive (part one just finished)
- Write (do daily writing practice, finish my november novel and get to work on my next project)
- Get healthy (cook, exercise, sleep, breathe clean air, stay away from coyotes and centipedes)
- Reinvigorate my creativity (365 project, sewing, painting, etc.)
- Read good books
- Figure out what I want to do next with my life and where I might want to do it

I'm currently working out new daily routines to be put in place once I reach my destination (some time in late March) and will post that and more soon. Until then, enjoy a little taste of my soon-to-be sanctuary.

the bigger picture

i was going to write that i've gotten derailed from this project, but that's actually not quite right. i have still been reading and thinking about style and personal brand, but i've also found myself drawn out into the bigger picture.

the purpose of the last 12 weeks has been to focus on specific, detailed aspects of my life to try and get myself back on track. and it's been working. i'm taking better care of myself. i've identified my core values and what i need in terms of my physical environment. i've reorganized my living space and my priorities. i've even taken some first steps toward changes i've wanted to make for a long time with regards to work and "good works." now it's time for (to quote elvis) "a little less conversation, a lot more action."

to that end i applied to and was accepted into a graduate program focused on just that.

We do not believe that being educated consists of "knowing things." Rather, we believe that it consists of being able to think about the "things" that you know. And involves being challenged, being confronted with other viewpoints, and being able to articulate your own changing understandings.

As people become aware of the magnitude of dilemmas and issues in the world they inhabit, they often express the desire and need to go beyond studying these problems; they want to know what they can do about them. This program is a response to that question. We emphasize the interrelationship between three themes: economic/social justice issues, ecological issues, and the personal and political dimensions of change.

i cannot wait to get started.

week six recap

some weeks there is just so much going on it's tough to keep up. sometimes it lasts more than a week. that's how it's been for me lately. the good news is, a lot of what's going on is good. or offers the possibility for good. i just haven't had time to report it.

what i do want to post today though is something that has become apparent over the last few weeks focused on meaningful work, and it's this: meaningful work is not a stand-alone thing. it's one component of an integrated life, and that's what i realize i've been struggling to find.

i have been living my life out of buckets: the health bucket, the creativity bucket, the writing bucket, the gardening bucket, the job bucket, the spirituality bucket, the daughter bucket, the girlfriend bucket... and never the twain shall meet.

in trying to identify what my "heart's desires" are, i realized i couldn't break them down into home, creativity, health, relationships, etc. because they are all intertwined.

trying to focus on creativity made me realize my home is not a place that allows space for that. trying to focus on my health made me realize without spirituality and creativity in my life, my health will continue to be missing important components.

so what is my heart's desire? a creative, healthy, productive, integrated life and a physical space and interpersonal connections to support it. and now i have a pretty good picture in my head of what that means. and i believe that it is possible to attain.

i also wanted to share this video from a great chiropractor/nutritionish and all-around health-improver about how to maintain a healthy weight.

bringing dreams to life

according to sonia choquette's book your heart's desire there are two key components to bringing your dreams to life: attention and intention. according to dictionary.com:

• attention is directing your mind to a specific object or goal (focusing your thoughts on your dream)
• intention is the act of determining mentally upon some action or result (basically deciding what the outcome will be and accepting it on faith that it will come to pass)

of course before you can do that you need to figure out what that dream is. here are a few basics, extrapolated from the book, to start you in the right direction:

• pick something that really matters to you: throw out the shoulds and the can'ts. look deep and really feel what would bring joy and satisfaction into your life. sure, i'd feel really good about myself if i could save the world but if i'm honest, maybe what i really want is to run a small bookstore or write poetry. that's okay. in fact, it's better than okay. and you never can tell what far-reaching impact these "small" dreams can have.
• start simple: it's easy to future-trip and spin elaborate fantasies, but you'll never get even close if you don't start with the here and now. dream of becoming a famous artist? start by finding more time in your life to practice your art. want to have more quality time with your family but are feeling exhausted and overwhelmed with chores? maybe a cleaning service is just what you need. both may seem mundane, but they are achievable first steps that will help put you on your path.
• be specific, but not too specific: specific would be "i want to get married to a loving man and start a family." too specific would be "i want my current boyfriend to propose on valentines day, marry me on new year's eve and to have three kids named jonah, kaitlin and frankie, each two years apart." don't limit the gifts the universe can give you or you'll miss out on getting more than you ever dreamed of (often in exchange for something that turns out to be something you didn't really want).
• use your powers for good: whatever your path, this whole thing works best when you focus on spiritual and emotional not material gains and definitely steer clear of wishing for bad things to happen to other people. 

yes, it's easier said than done. way easier. then again, there are lots of tools to help you figure these things out. like this book, which has already helped a lot and i'm only at chapter one.

week five: meaningful work

for the past several years i have noticed an increasing disconnect between my work (job) and my values. not that the companies i have worked for are lacking in any way, just that what i want to do with my life and the way i want to live it are no longer aligned with the reality of an 8:30-5:30 job in technology or ecommerce. that gives me two choices: a) find a way to make it work, or b) find something else. which brings us to week five: meaningful work.

values: define "meaningful"
interests: document the things i am passionate about (both activities and causes)
experience: assess what i already know how to do, what i'm good at and whether it interests me and aligns with my values
options: take a close look at everything listed above and come up with a list of options (keeping in mind that not every goal has to be fulfilled by my job)
plan: outline my goals and the steps i need to take to reach them 

food challenge: cauliflower
declutter challenge: office

related reading:
your heart's desire
the creative entrepreneur
the business startup checklist and planning guide
u-turn