week five: meaningful work

for the past several years i have noticed an increasing disconnect between my work (job) and my values. not that the companies i have worked for are lacking in any way, just that what i want to do with my life and the way i want to live it are no longer aligned with the reality of an 8:30-5:30 job in technology or ecommerce. that gives me two choices: a) find a way to make it work, or b) find something else. which brings us to week five: meaningful work.

values: define "meaningful"
interests: document the things i am passionate about (both activities and causes)
experience: assess what i already know how to do, what i'm good at and whether it interests me and aligns with my values
options: take a close look at everything listed above and come up with a list of options (keeping in mind that not every goal has to be fulfilled by my job)
plan: outline my goals and the steps i need to take to reach them 

food challenge: cauliflower
declutter challenge: office

related reading:
your heart's desire
the creative entrepreneur
the business startup checklist and planning guide
u-turn

week four recap

okay, i'll admit it: i let this week totally get away from me. work was crazy and stressful, life was crazy and stressful and i found it almost impossible to keep fun in mind at all, much less actually focus on it. i didn't complete a single challenge (food or declutter) nor did i do anything even remotely creative. i did however have a few small wins:

• drove up to petaluma with a friend to see avatar in 3-D and generally get out of town and get a new perspective. it was great (the movie, the change of scenery and spending time with my best friend)
• worked the hula hoop many mornings. i'm starting to get good. :)
• put together a camera that my brother sent me as an early birthday gift. it's all fancy and lets you do things manually instead of just point-and-shoot. it will definitely enable a higher level of creativity in at least that one area of my life. plus it works with my existing film camera lenses which is very cool.
• made lists of possible creative projects and places/activities that inspire (both generic and specific).
• agreed to set up an art day with my friend to help us both find more creative fulfillment.

these are all great things. and i need to remember that the goal is not to see how much fun i can have in a week, it's to see how much fun i can regularly infuse into my daily life. so in that context, i think i did just fine.

oh, and two big wins left over from the week of stronger relationships: spending time with my best friend and having one of the short-list friends i hadn't reconnected with yet contact me. :)  plus i was so heartened by those, i contacted another one on my list. sometimes these things just take a little time. and speaking of relationships, tonight is my grandmother's 100th birthday party. not only will it be great to celebrate our good fortune at having her with us for so long and still going strong, my uncle will be there giving me the opportunity to practice forgiveness. we'll see how it goes...

week four: joie de vivre

i am so excited that it's finally week four, the week of all things joyful. in the spirit of this week i am actually going to limit myself to a single resolution: have fun. to get more specific, i plan to embrace creativity, seek inspiration, approach my daily activities with a sense of play (like tomorrow when i plan to replace my usual morning exercises with a good long hula hoop session) and seek joy wherever i can find it.

as for my weekly challenges, i've funned them up a bit too:
food: berries!
declutter: let's call it a treasure hunt for creative supplies and inspirations, the culmination of which will be the creation of an art box and inspiration binder

related reading:
the anti-coloring book
the artist's way
building self-esteem through the museum of I

week three recap

 wow... taking a closer look at how i spend my money (and what it says about my values and lifestyle) was definitely an eye-opening experience. just filling out a spending and income history for the last couple of months revealed a lot -- mostly that i need to start paying a lot closer attention to where my money goes. here are a few of the high-level things i learned:

• i want to save more money. keeping that in mind when i shop makes it much easier to keep spending down, but that's not enough. if i decide i'll pass on a new pair of shoes, that's great, but i have to take the next step and deposit that same amount into my savings account or it will get spent on something else.
• there are also a lot of possible ways to make incremental income that i could start taking advantage of. i have been known to sell books to local used bookstores, but maybe i could do better with an amazon store. and i could probably amp-up the income opportunities on my blogs. and then there are my creative endeavors... i definitely need to think more about this.
• i waste a lot of food. this is disturbing to me on a lot of levels. i need to get better at meal planning and only buy perishables when i am sure i can use them. there are plenty of other alternatives.
• i need to get much better at measuring the value of things i spend on. for example, i haven't gotten my hair cut in probably 8 months. mostly because of time but also because i'd rather not get it done than get a bad cut. on thursday however i bit the bullet and walked into a salon. i walked out an hour later with a brutally expensive but fabulous cut. was it worth it? yes. because i get it done so rarely, it needs to be a good cut that will hold up. and as with shoes and jeans, i'd rather pay for a good one that will last than a cheap one that will make me sad every time i look in the mirror or put them on.
• prioritization is key. this is most evident in the whole "thinking about home ownership" thing. i want to own a house. i cannot afford a house in my area. i can afford a house in outlying areas, but my job is here. this doesn't mean i can't buy, it just needs i need to get more creative. maybe buy a house up there and rent it until i can find another job. i also want to go back to school which has many of the same issues as the house question. it also competes for the same savings dollars. school or house? local or distant? full-time or part-time? there are many options to consider which is mostly my way of saying that you don't have to rule out having it all. you just have to get creative with how you do it. (in this case it's looking like buying the cheap house renting it out and choosing an affordable part-time school program so i can keep my job, but i'll keep you posted on that.)

declutter challenge: files (including digital) and in-apartment storage
- got nowhere at all with this due to over-scheduling on other things.

food challenge: black beans
- gingered black beans from the self-healing cookbook: awesome and enough for many meals
- black bean chili (ostensibly from green's restaurant but i think it was a lie): bland and yet overly oniony, won't be repeating this one
- didn't manage the third dish due to time

nagging tasks: i was thwarted at pretty much every turn (once again a victim of my own poor planning). suffice it to say, tax day is not the day to try and deal with your 401k rollovers or anything else having to do with money. i will be scheduling meetings and handling those tasks another day. i did, however get online bill-pay and my budget spreadsheets set up so that was a win.

so even though i didn't complete a lot of "tasks" i definitely learned a lot and am glad i added this one to the list.

week three: financial security

welcome to week three, the week of financial security. you may have noticed that this is a late addition to my original line-up, but it seemed important enough to slot in early (bumping personal style to week six).

getting your financial ducks in a row can not only help you reach your goals, but it can also reveal a lot about your values and how well your actions align with what you say you value. i am definitely expecting another eye opening week. let's break it down... (note that this week's list is more goal based than resolution based)

spending
- determine where my money is really going
- review all spending including places where i don't spend but should
- note times when i decide to save not spend (passing on a smoothie or a pair of shoes)
- think about home ownership

income
- identify and review all income sources
- identify additional potential sources
- think about barter

savings
- review savings including 401k
- implement plan to save 30% of income per month
- deposit "saved" or refunded money into dedicated savings account

management / prioritization
- create and implement a realistic budget (current and ideal)
- set up and use online bill-pay
-  identify and implement simple savings opportunities (downgrading cable for example)

declutter challenge: files (including digital) and in-apartment storage

food challenge: black beans

i also wanted to note that i have a number of nagging tasks associated with money management at least a few of which i hope to tackle this week:
- 401k rollovers
- fix sprint data plan
- fix computers (dell and lenovo -- before the warranty runs out and it costs a whole lot more)
- will

related reading
your money or your life
the courage to be rich
personal finance for dummies
suze orman's 2009 action plan
how to survive without a salary
we the savers blog

to quote zyzzyva editor howard junker:* onward!

* howard junker is well known in literary circles for personally reading every submission to the zyzzyva slush pile. his rejection form letter is always the same with the above encouragement scrawled in his own hand across the top.

week two recap

 so week two is over and it's time to move on to week three, but before we go, let's take a look back at how well i did...

family
this week i spent quality time with my mom. it was so nice to have an afternoon all to ourselves, just the two of us hanging out. i also was conscious to thank her for the time and to thank both of my parents for helping me out with an errand over the weekend. i am also pitching in for a big event scheduled for next monday -- my grandmother's 100th birthday party. it will have a luau theme for which i provided a ton of decorations (because who doesn't have two bins worth of inflatable palm trees, plastic leis and grass table skirts in their storage area?). i am also paying for luau food from L&L BBQ.

this party will give me the opportunity to fulfill all of my resolutions for the month -- seeing grandma and spending time with the kids and my brother. even my uncle will be there. i'm not sure forgiveness will rain down from the heavens, but at least i can test my ability to be cordial and see if i can use some of the things i learned from this past week in other areas to help reduce the stress of this strained relationship.

friends
i emailed and set up tentative plans with 3 of my 6 key people. i also had my mom take a quick first pass through the storage area looking for the box that has christine's last known address while she was in there digging for the decorations. no luck. i will need to plan an excavation.

for some reason, i find myself resistant to contact the three remaining friends. i'm not sure why. i keep coming up with excuses like they are too busy and i don't want to bug them, i don't know their schedules or whether we'll be able to find a good time to get together, maybe i'll be too busy, i don't know what we'll do together... not a valid excuse in the bunch. as i was typing this i just realized that these three have something in common that the others don't. the three i have plans to see are people i have known since childhood, who i know love me back and therefore there is no risk involved. the three i haven't contacted are newer friends who i really want to spend more time with but who i haven't developed strong relationships with yet. i'm guessing the fear of rejection is tempering my will here. i may just need to take it a little slower, work up to the invitation and maybe approach them one at a time, not as part of a batch.

one really great thing that came out of this, one night i was thinking about one of my old friends. i planned to go home and send her an email but instead, i just called her. sometimes i forget that hearing someone's voice is completely different than keystrokes in email and it is definitely worth the effort.

partner
it's amazing how sometimes just a little shift -- in perception, approach, and intention -- can make a world of difference. the good progress i posted about earlier in the week has definitely continued and i hope to keep it rolling.

self
this really was the most challenging, revealing and probably rewarding part of the puzzle. i had no idea how often i do to myself just what i don't like to have done by others: dismissing my own needs, denigrating my own dreams, trying to make up for ongoing neglect with big gestures that just don't fill the real need. having to pay attention to how i treat myself, especially in the context of how i wanted to treat others was an eye-opener. my on-going goal will be figuring out how to keep my eyes open.

declutter challenge: bedroom
this was actually a bit of a bust in some ways. i did get and keep the room itself clean, but i had hoped to do a good purge of the storage drawers and the random items that lurk under the dressers that just didn't happen. this is pretty much the same thing that happened last week with the kitchen. i think i need to rethink my approach. i have been waiting until i have a big chunk of time to tackle the whole thing instead of trying to do a little here and a little there all week long. small steps add up. i will keep that in mind for this week.

food challenge: tofu

on the tofu challenge i wound up 2 for three. you already saw my great success with tofu scramble and you're about to see how easy it is to swap tofu for beef in a simple taco recipe. unfortunately, i didn't get to the tofu smoothie. i made the mistake of saving it for last and alas, had my best intentions thwarted by a mild bout with food poisoning. i do intend, however, to make it up this week -- probably tuesday after the gym.

i love food that you get to put together at the table and tacos were one of my favorite family dinners growing up. thing is, even though i do eat red meat again, after twenty years as a vegetarian, i just can't do it all the time. lucky for me, replacing the beef with tofu was easier than i ever imagined. just rinse, pat dry and crumble it into the pan, then follow the instructions on the seasoning packet just like you were cooking with meat (brown, stir, serve). it tasted just as good and was way less greasy. the whole experience leaves my eager to try this substitution in other meat-based dishes, including lasagna and chili, now that i know how easy it is.

so long week two. hello week three!

food challenge: tofu scramble

here it is saturday and i haven't cooked a single tofu dish -- yet. but that's what the weekend is for. and since i woke up very hungry, i figured i'd start with a basic, tofu-based breakfast dish: tofu scramble. to get me started i hunted around on the internet for a while and found this simple, flexible recipe:



i used frozen peas and corn as the veggies and substituted powered onion and garlic salt for the real thing since they are what i had in the house and in less than 10 minutes i had a delicious and protein-rich breakfast. i especially love that you can pretty much use whatever veggies and flavorings that strike your fancy (or need using up in the fridge) and because tofu reheats pretty well, you can make a big batch and eat it for a couple of days (for me, one container of tofu made enough for two servings).

worried about the dangers of gmo foods? try house foods brand tofu which does not use genetically engineered soybeans.

week two: stronger relationships

welcome to week two. this week's plan -- to find ways to strengthen the most important relationships in my life. for me, when things get busy, relationships always seem to take a back seat to work. partly because they don't have deadlines, partly because the consequences of missing work deliverables have the potential for dire financial consequences, and partly because the people who love you understand. the thing is, without a good support system, managing the stresses that come up in life is that much harder. in fact, for me, strong relationships are second only to good health when it comes to leading a happy, healthy, balanced life (hence its position in my list). to that end, here's this week's plan.

family
the good news is, most of my family is nearby and we are all pretty close. but that doesn't mean there aren't things i can do to make our relationships even stronger. the first one should be easy, but it's always the easiest thing to forget.
- be more appreciative of everything they do for and mean to me
- schedule time to see my grandma at least once per month (she turns 100 this month, so must make time)
- spend more time with my nephews and niece when she is in town (they grow up too fast)
- communicate with my brother more (he only lives two states up, but i rarely talk to him because it makes me miss him more)
- (and this will be the hardest of all) find a way to forgive my uncle (honestly, i don't even know what for, but even though just thinking about this stresses me out, i'm tired of carrying it around)

friends
i actually have a good number of friends but i rarely talk to any of them (except one) and see them even less, and while i would like to see more of all of my friends in general, there are probably five or six that i really miss, and keeping up with them on facebook, livejournal and their blogs, just isn't enough. i also have one lost friend who i would really like to reconnect with.
- reach out to the five or six
- make time to see them (already have a day scheduled with one)
- try and track down christine (so far no luck online, but may have more info buried in my storage space which would be a longer-term project)

partner
- assume the best intentions
- be nicer / make the extra effort
- talk more about the things that matter
- be more available

self
- schedule a day (or at least a few hours) of self-pampering this week
- regularly schedule dates with myself (that involve doing fun things, not vegging in front of the TV)
- stop with the pressure
- journal about this topic in morning pages

declutter challenge: the bedroom, of course
food challenge: tofu (no good reason, just sounds yummy)

interestingly, in the last couple of weeks since i started thinking about this project, i've already started to work on several of these things and others have just happened randomly, like an impromptu chat session initiated by my favorite uncle in new york. but the big goal is for all of this to become second nature. it probably won't happen in a week, but at least i can get the ball rolling.

related reading:
the highly sensitive person in love
getting to commitment
be the person you want to find

week one recap

so how did i do this week? considering the fact that i was sick for a lot of it, i think i did pretty well.

exercise

- stretch every morning -- check
- gym 3x/week -- nope, working out and sick don't mix
- take the stairs -- check
- walk (yes, mall-walking counts) -- yep

diet
- eat breakfast every morning (sitting down) -- all but once and i at it as soon as i got to work
- take vitamins -- check
- eat 5-6 small meals a day; include protein in each -- i definitely averaged five, so yep
- weekly food challenge: cook selected food three new ways -- definitely, see update below

emotional balance
- sleep 7+ hours/night (or at least in bed by 11) -- this one was tough, but i did manage 3 nights out of seven, a big improvement for me
- create and implement daily routines -- done and adhered to every day but one
- write morning pages -- check
- meditate -- every day but one
- begin mindfulness work --

environment
- 15 minute pick-up every day -- all but one
- weekly declutter challenge: kitchen -- i cleaned out the fridge and freezer, reorganized a couple of cabinets and cleared the counters to make room for my kitchenaid mixer; unfortunately i didn't  get to everything i wanted to do (including the top of the fridge) but now that i'm on the mend i will try and make it up this week


and as for the food challenge, here are the results:

spinach pizza

okay, i'll admit it, this was a lazy decision. it was late, it had been a long day at work and i just wanted something yummy with a healthy twist. i used the pizza crust recipe from The Wheat-Free Cook: Gluten-Free Recipes for Everyone, then topped with spaghetti sauce, italian seasoning, mozzerella and frozen spinach with a dusting of garlic salt. yum!

crustless spinach quiche

yes, i picked this one because it didn't require a crust. i also made a few adjustments. i only used half an onion instead of a whole one (which was still a lot) and substituted the 3 cups of muenster cheese for 1.5 cups of feta and 1.5 cups of cheddar. unfortunately i forgot to adjust down (aka omit) the salt to make up for the saltiness for the feta, but i still loved in, and best of all i have three pieces left for breakfasts. i think this is going to become a great staple for me and i can switch it up with different veggies, different cheeses and other fun things like herbs and spices. very excited.

creamed spinach

for this recipe i doubled the medium white sauce recipe on the back of the kingsford cornstarch box with the following variations:

1. sauteed onion in melted butter
2. added cornstarch
3. used half-and-half instead of milk
4. used 1.5 10 ounce boxes of frozen spinach

i thought it turned out a little on the oniony side and yet somehow kind of bland, but the rest of the family loved it.

but more importantly, did i learn anything? yes. taking the time to do some prep work each night and sticking to the routines that help me feel better every morning and remembering to make time for things like reading and gardening that feed my soul is just as important as how often i exercise and what i eat. but really, when it comes down to it, the most important thing is sleep. so i'll keep working on that.

week one challenges

okay, so here we are at week one and so far so good. i got through my morning routine and continue to check off daily goals from sunday's list, so i figure it's time to take on the biggest goal for this week: the food challenge. firstly, i figure i need to set a few rules to make sure it's actually a useful exercise. i am easily distracted by the glamor of unique foods, but let's face it, i need to learn the basics and no matter how yummy kohlrabi might turn out to be, a staple it's not. so then here are the rules:

- selected item must be a basic, staple food that can be stored for at least a few weeks in the pantry, fridge or freezer
- food should be edible when served alone (no "ingredients" like flour or brown rice syrup; at least not right away)
- selected food must be nutritious

given that, here are a few examples of foods that fit the criteria: tofu, quinoa, rice sticks, black beans, frozen spinach, sweet potatoes, eggs, almonds... you get the picture.

and the winner for this week is: frozen spinach!

i usually don't like spinach much, but i know it's good for me plus it's so easy to fit lots of the boxed variety in the freezer. i've even figured out what i want to cook with it:

- spinach quiche (with a gluten-free crust, of course)
- creamed spinach
- sag paneer

it should be a fun one.

oh, and as for the weekly declutter challenge, i'm going to see what i can do to simplify the weekly food challenge by tackling: the kitchen.

wish me luck!

week one: better health

okay, so i'll admit it. i cheated a little bit. to get ready for week one i did a few things ahead of time so i could hit the ground running. you already know i joined a gym. i also met with a nutritionist to get some advice on how to tackle the diet part of the program. i even started meditating. but enough about prep-work. here's the plan:

exercise
- stretch every morning
- gym 3x/week
- take the stairs
- walk (yes, mall-walking counts)

diet
- eat breakfast every morning (sitting down)
- take vitamins
- eat 5-6 small meals a day; include protein in each
- weekly food challenge: cook selected food three new ways

emotional balance
- sleep 7+ hours/night (or at least in bed by 11)
- create and implement daily routines
- write morning pages
- meditate
- begin mindfulness work

environment
- 15 minute pick-up every day
- weekly declutter challenge: purge one room per week

it looks like a lot on paper, but each one is really a pretty small change, so it should all be completely doable. i guess we'll know soon enough. (check my joesgoals banner to watch my progress.)

this week's book and website reference list:

Grow Younger, Live Longer
The Self-Healing Cookbook
The Schwarzbein Principle
The Wheat-Free Cook
8 Minute Meditation
A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook
The Power of Now
The Highly Sensitive Person
How Did I Get So Busy?
You Can Find More Time for Yourself Every Day
Let Go of Clutter
Unclutter Your Life in One Week
Rightsizing Your Life
FlyLady.com

some i've read, some i plan to read, others i'll probably just flip through and pull out whatever sounds interesting, but i will post reviews when i have them.