walking the walk

i keep writing and thinking about the life i want to live and the things i need to do before i can start living that life. the events of the last month or two have forced me to face an important truth: if you wait for your life to be just right before beginning, you very well may wind up waiting forever. i'll be writing more soon about just what that might entail, but in the interim, i have signed up for two events that should help get me re-inspired:

1. no impact experiment: i talk a lot about wanting to make a difference for the planet. what better place to start than in my own life and home. and having the support of like-minded people who are doing the same thing at the same time doesn't hurt either.

2. writing and mindfulness retreat: it's always surprising how the first habits many people lose in a crisis are those that can best help them get through. writing and mindfulness are two of the top three on my peak emotional health list.

and let me add one more quick note: there was an inspiring article in the paper last about the radical homemaking trend that's sweeping the land. especially cool: one of the featured homemakers is someone i know (okay, the wife of someone i know, but close enough).

the bigger picture

i was going to write that i've gotten derailed from this project, but that's actually not quite right. i have still been reading and thinking about style and personal brand, but i've also found myself drawn out into the bigger picture.

the purpose of the last 12 weeks has been to focus on specific, detailed aspects of my life to try and get myself back on track. and it's been working. i'm taking better care of myself. i've identified my core values and what i need in terms of my physical environment. i've reorganized my living space and my priorities. i've even taken some first steps toward changes i've wanted to make for a long time with regards to work and "good works." now it's time for (to quote elvis) "a little less conversation, a lot more action."

to that end i applied to and was accepted into a graduate program focused on just that.

We do not believe that being educated consists of "knowing things." Rather, we believe that it consists of being able to think about the "things" that you know. And involves being challenged, being confronted with other viewpoints, and being able to articulate your own changing understandings.

As people become aware of the magnitude of dilemmas and issues in the world they inhabit, they often express the desire and need to go beyond studying these problems; they want to know what they can do about them. This program is a response to that question. We emphasize the interrelationship between three themes: economic/social justice issues, ecological issues, and the personal and political dimensions of change.

i cannot wait to get started.

week six recap

some weeks there is just so much going on it's tough to keep up. sometimes it lasts more than a week. that's how it's been for me lately. the good news is, a lot of what's going on is good. or offers the possibility for good. i just haven't had time to report it.

what i do want to post today though is something that has become apparent over the last few weeks focused on meaningful work, and it's this: meaningful work is not a stand-alone thing. it's one component of an integrated life, and that's what i realize i've been struggling to find.

i have been living my life out of buckets: the health bucket, the creativity bucket, the writing bucket, the gardening bucket, the job bucket, the spirituality bucket, the daughter bucket, the girlfriend bucket... and never the twain shall meet.

in trying to identify what my "heart's desires" are, i realized i couldn't break them down into home, creativity, health, relationships, etc. because they are all intertwined.

trying to focus on creativity made me realize my home is not a place that allows space for that. trying to focus on my health made me realize without spirituality and creativity in my life, my health will continue to be missing important components.

so what is my heart's desire? a creative, healthy, productive, integrated life and a physical space and interpersonal connections to support it. and now i have a pretty good picture in my head of what that means. and i believe that it is possible to attain.

i also wanted to share this video from a great chiropractor/nutritionish and all-around health-improver about how to maintain a healthy weight.

looking back to look forward

i have read more than one book that pegs the ages of 9-11 as those years when you are most fully yourself -- old enough to have formed your personality but young enough that you haven't been beaten down by  and cultural and familial expectations. many of these books say that when looking to create a more fulfilling future, the best place to search for ideas is in your past. start with some of these questions:

- what was your favorite subject in school? (english and history, though i pretty much loved all school)
- what were your interests / what did you do in your free time? (gymnastics, climbing trees, catching pollywogs, read books, sewing, drawing -- especially designs of houses, creating terrariums, decorating my dollhouse, making furniture for my dollhouse out of tin cans and sponges, indoor gardening)
- what were your favorite games? (made-up imagination games like trapped on a dessert island)
- what did you collect? (books, especially fantasy, plants, tropical fish, teddy bears, especially smokey)
- what were your favorite tv shows, movies or books? (chronicles of prydain, the hobbit, chronicles of narnia,  little house, and of course my favorite book, the little prince)
- what did you want to be when you grew up? (teacher, writer, artist, mom)
- why?

for me, remembering wasn't that hard. i have a record of many other of these things and remember a lot. each of us kids had one of those school record books where we kept our report cards, class photos and filled in our best friends, favorite teachers and yes, what we wanted to be when we grew up. and i still see and speak to my family and friends from back then which makes it easy to supplement my memories.

but looking at my answers, i  feel like what they say is true. the things i long to bring back into my life are those things that i loved most then: nature, creativity, imagination, words, books, and learning. and i can't help but think that bringing some of those things back into my life might help me feel more grounded and in touch with my true self.

possible paths (aka options)

clearly i have a wide range of interests and skills and thus a wide range of career options. sure, i'll probably never be a hardware engineer or a perfume designer, but hey, i wouldn't like those jobs anyway. so what could i be when i grow up?

• writer (novels, non-fiction, screenplays, articles)
• copywriter (web, real estate, brochures, branding materials)
• editor (you name it)
• resume editor/consultant 
• creativity coach
• artist (crafts, photography, art)
• landscape designer
• landscape architect
• gardener
• nurserywoman
• horticulturist
• gardening activist
• garden educator
• teacher (school, park and rec, other)
• school administrator (all grade levels)
• website consultant (IA, copy, SEO, SEM, SMM, content strategist, content management, etc.)
• blogger
• librarian
• bookseller
• book/product buyer
• bookstore owner
• retail shop owner

i'm actually thinking that my optimal career path is not a path at all. i believe the popular term these days is "portfolio career" where you do a lot of different things you love and together they add up to a whole job. it seems to be easiest when the jobs are related, for example if you love gardening, you can design gardens, write articles about gardening, do garden photography and teach gardening through park & rec, local colleges or to local kids.

pay special attention to skills that can be used in a variety of ways, like writing. you can leverage it across multiple venues -- web, magazine, newspaper, novels, books, newsletters, editing, teaching and a host of other activities. same goes for teaching, coaching, and a bunch of others. for me, my top skills are writing, gardening, teaching, listening, coaching, critical thinking, planning, organizing, and designing. my top interests are books, art/crafts, plants, social/environmental stewardship, preparedness, and transforming houses into homes. somewhere in there lies the sweet spot (or combination of sweet spots) i've been looking for. i bet my parents still have that old dollhouse in the garage somewhere...

interests

okay, so we now know what i value, so that brings us to my second question: what do i like to do?

- read
- write
- garden
- photograph
- create art
- craft
- organize information
- teach
- learn
- study
- inspire creativity in others
- help others identify and pursue their dreams
- prepare for emergencies
- design gardens
- decorate interiors
- plan
- belly dance, learn hula
- do yoga
- dream

defining values

i have to admit, i've had some trouble writing this post. i've started it over and over and keep coming up confused. but i think i've been making it harder than it needs to be. it's probably the word "values" that's throwing me, so i'm just going to go ahead and make a list of what's important to me instead:

• education
• creative expression (including photography, poetry, painting, novel writing, drawing, textile crafts, performance art, dance, landscape design and just about anything with a tangible or recordable outcome that engages the creativity centers of the brain)
• growing things (this relates to both the point above and the one below)
• equal access to high-quality, organic, whole, natural foods (i started to say healthy, but given what advertisers tout as healthy these days, that word has pretty much become meaningless)
• sustainability and environmental health (preservation of natural resources, alternatives to toxic chemicals that make us sick)
• interpersonal connection
• making a positive difference in the lives of others

i always come back to julia cameron's the artists way. what i extrapolated from that book is this: creation, in the form of art, writing or any other creative expression (including, for me, the creation of food from plant from seed) is the most powerful antidote to the pain and destruction in our would today. a life for a life just robs us twice. the only lessons taught are negative ones. but a poem for a life, a memorial quilt for a life, a song for a life, that helps preserve and remember what was lost. it gives back something new and meaningful in the void that was left. it can even transform loss into a learning experience. into a community building experience. into rebirth. art is creation. growing food is creation. building community is creation. harvesting power from the air is creation.

the job i do now actually does align with many of the values i have listed above. the problem is the distance. i can reach a million faceless people and hope what we have done helps them in some way, but i cannot look them in the eye or hold their child's hand, helping to guide the shovel as he plants his first seed. there is no connection. and without that, i can only guess at whether i really made a difference or not.

week five: meaningful work

for the past several years i have noticed an increasing disconnect between my work (job) and my values. not that the companies i have worked for are lacking in any way, just that what i want to do with my life and the way i want to live it are no longer aligned with the reality of an 8:30-5:30 job in technology or ecommerce. that gives me two choices: a) find a way to make it work, or b) find something else. which brings us to week five: meaningful work.

values: define "meaningful"
interests: document the things i am passionate about (both activities and causes)
experience: assess what i already know how to do, what i'm good at and whether it interests me and aligns with my values
options: take a close look at everything listed above and come up with a list of options (keeping in mind that not every goal has to be fulfilled by my job)
plan: outline my goals and the steps i need to take to reach them 

food challenge: cauliflower
declutter challenge: office

related reading:
your heart's desire
the creative entrepreneur
the business startup checklist and planning guide
u-turn